Last year, the attorney told me that settling my father’s (modest) Trust would not be hard. I understood him to say he could handle most things. What that meant, apparently, was that he would give me a nice, neat three-page list of what needs to be done. Unless we want to spend a fortune on attorney’s fees. I have kept an equally nice, neat file box, 11 items (investment accounts, retirement accounts, etc.) each in its own folder. This is not my area of expertise, for God’s sake, but I thought I had it under control. 
Okay, we are going to play Monopoly. No matter where you land, you must draw a card. Here are the cards:
- The National Service Life Insurance policy for $10,000 you just found (surprise!) in your father’s papers was offered to soldiers in WWII. You call the VA. You are at last routed to someone who says he converted it at age 70 to a less expensive policy, with a different name, worth only $5,000, which is why you didn’t recognize it. You had cashed it in in 2016.
- General American Life is not the same as American General Life. You call. You find that your father’s two General American policies were sold to Metlife. You had already cashed them both in, one in 2016 and one in 2018. You knew that, but were unaware that they were the same as General American.
- American General is also U.S. Life. Your father has a small U.S. Life policy. You did not know it is the same as American General. American General Group is AIG. They are also associated with The Variable Annuity Life Insurance Company, VALIC. After several inquiries, you ascertain that the VALIC policy is indeed the active one. And, by the way, so is the U.S. Life. Both small. Don’t ask why. Your father was just that way.
- John Alden Insurance Company has moved its contracts to several different companies, although the name John Alden is still in business, although you can’t tell which company holds which John Alden contracts.
- You discover that his Total Control Account is actually a Metlife company. Tracing most companies on your computer from their source names, you see that Metlife owns basically everything.
Chevron used to be Texaco, which explains the rogue receipt for Texaco stock in your father’s papers. Chevron stock is handled by Computershare. SunAmerica is handled by AIG. Guess which is where your stock is.
- Enter the contract number you are calling about. We’re sorry, we can’t locate that number. If you would like to speak to an agent, press. 4. We are experiencing a large volume of calls. You can choose to wait on the line or you will find our website has answers to almost all your questions.
- Go to the notary today. Go to the notary tomorrow. Go to the bank to get the bank manager to affix a Medallion stamp on your application to transfer or sell your stock. It can only be affixed by the bank manager, who is busy at the moment but if you’ll just be seated, there’s coffee and water. Help yourself.
- Sorry, we handle only individual accounts. For annuity accounts, call this number. We’re sorry, we are experiencing a large volume of calls. You can choose to wait on the line or you will find our website can answer most of your questions.
10. Wally the Buddha Cat says, “Chaos is inherent in all compounded things. Leave me alone. I’m trying to sleep."